The Return of Vince

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Wolf or it's characters.

Summary: uuuhhhh, Vince returns.


Start out in Merton's lair
He is sleeping soundly on his bed, when all of a sudden Tommy burst in.

Tommy: Popper jacks!

Merton is awoken by this sudden out burst and jumps up, loses
his balance, and flips over his bed.

Merton: Ow!

Tommy: Merton? Are you ok?

Merton: Doesn't the word OW mean anything to you?

Tommy: Sorry.

Merton: And I was having a wonderful dream too. Sarah Michelle Gellar moved in
next door, and Jennifer Love Hewitt on the other side, and Carmen Electra behind me, and across the street...

Tommy: Ok! I get it already. I had a dream last night too...

Merton: Naturally.

Tommy: Ok. I had a dream about milkbones. My house was made out of scrumptious dog biscuits. Mmmmm.

Merton: This is new. Well, what was it you came in here screaming about?

Tommy: Popper jacks!

Merton There goes the hearing!

Tommy: My favorite snack food is back! (holds box of popper jacks by face and smiles big. On box has picture of a guy holding a box of popper jacks by his face and smiling big.)

Merton: Let me see that. The delightfully sweet rip-off of cracker jacks. Ingredients: sugar, sugar extract, sugar cane, sugar sweetener. Well Tommy, nice to see you take your dentist advice to heart.

Becky: (walks in) Hey freak of the week, mom and dad wanted me to tell you that aunt Pearl and uncle Morris are here. (looks at Tommy) Hi Tommy. (leaves)

Tommy: Oh great, that means my annoying six year old cousin is here.

Cousin Billy: (walks in) Hi Merton! I want you to meet my new invisible friend, Vince.

Vince: (burst in) I'm back little buddy! It's playtime.

Merton: Billy, your invisible "friend" is not a very nice man to hang around, why don't you...

Vince: (puts his arm around Merton) Merton, little buddy, I'm a changed man. I've forgotten how you locked me in a cold trunk, alone, for ten years, so cruelly. Then did it again to leave me with some other ungrateful kid. (tightens squeeze on Merton)

Merton: (squeakily) Sorry.

Tommy:(Starts to get angry, starts to wolf out, sees Merton's cousin, leaves) Gotta go.

Vince: You ditched me for him?

Billy: Uh, Merton, you play with Vince for a while, bye. (leaves)

Merton: Uh, no, wa...

Vince: (slaps Merton on the back real hard) It's just you and me Merton, you and me.
Merton: I'm going to bed, so good-bye.

Vince: That's ok, I'll wait right here till morning. (sits in chair)

Next scene- it's the middle of the night, Merton wakes up, looks over at Vince,
Vince is still in the chair staring at him. Merton screams.

Merton: Ahhh! Vince! Please just go away.

Vince: Don't make Vince angry, little buddy. (eyes glow)

Merton: (squeakily and high pitched) Ok. (goes back to sleep)

Next scene- at school, Merton is at his locker, Vince is walking around the hallway messing with people, throwing their stuff down. Tommy walks up to Merton, staring at Vince and eating a box of popper jacks.

Tommy: What's clown face still doing with you?

Vince: I heard that! Dog breath.

Merton: I can't get rid of him. Billy won't take him back. I'm stuck, Tommy, I don't know what to do.

Tommy: Do what you did last time....

Vince: (pops up behind Tommy) Not gonna work. See, Merton doesn't controll me anymore, I control him, and you too if you don't stay out of this.

Tommy: I will kick your butt you green haired freak!
(people stare at Tommy yelling at nothing. Tommy looks around, Vince smiles.)

Vince: We'll see about that.

Next scene- in class, Lori sees Vince, turns to Merton.

Lori: Merton! Vince is back!

Merton: I know.

Lori: What! Well what are you going to do about it?

Merton/Tommy: Nothing!

Merton: There's nothing we can do. He's threatened our lives, and if we put him back in another box, he'll just come back, to kill us!

Vince: My spikey-headed friend is right. I will come back to kill you.

Merton: I can't live with him around me, and he won't let me live without him.

Lori: You can't just let him walk all over you like that!

Vince: Do you mind staying out of this little lady. It doesn't concern you or wolf boy.

(students stare at the three talking to air)

Teacher: If you three are done chatting with the air, can we start class?

Merton/Tommy/Lori: Sorry.

Vince: He he he.

Merton: Oh shut up! (to Vince)

Teacher: Excuse me! (shocked)

Merton: Not you, my, my invisible friend.

Teacher: Merton, I want you to go to the school psychiatrist.

Merton: We have a psychiatrist?

Teacher: For this episode we do. Now and tell him what you told me (Merton sulks out, Vince follows, and on his way out he throws an apple at the teacher)

Teacher: Merton! (screams)

(Merton runs down the hall)

Next scene-Merton is talking to the psychiatrist

Psychiatrist: So, let me get this straight. Your invisible friend is trying to kill you.

Merton: Yes! Although he's not really a friend, or all that invisible.

Psychiatrist: Uh huh. (writes something on a note pad)

(Vince throws a paper ball at the psychiatrist)

Psychiatrist: Merton!

Merton: It, wasnt me! It was Vince!

Psychiatrist: (annoyed) Umhuh. (writes something on note pad)

(VInce grabs Merton's arm and knocks the psychiatrist notebook out of his hand

with Merton's)

Psychiatrist: That was uncalled for!

(Merton runs out)

Merton: It was Vince!

Next scene- Merton's lair- Merton is sitting in a chair and Vince is playing with
Merton's hair.

Merton: (batting Vince away) Would you stop that?!

Vince: (childishly) No!

Merton: arrrrrrrrgh!

Tommy and Lori come in.

Lori: You! (she jumps at Vince, but Tommy holds her back) What are you doing? Stop it.

Tommy: You know you can't destroy Vince, so don't even try.

Lori: Vince? I was going for Merton. He started all of this.

Tommy: You're right. By all means, go ahead. (lets go of Lori)

Merton: Now wait a minute! (jumps up) Vince aren't you going to help your little buddy?

Vince: Nope, You don't want me around, why should I help you?

Merton: Because I love you?

Vince: Hmph. (looks away)

Lori: Merton, this is your problem, you solve it. I'm not getting myself killed over someone who doesn't exist.

Vince: I exist, if you believe in me.

Lori: Well, not everyone believes in you.

Merton: That's it!! Don't believe in him and he'll go away!

Vince: (shoots plasma bolts at Merton, Merton ducks) No!

Tommy: (wolfs out and jumps Vince) You're going to ruin Merton's furniture.

Vince: I wan to ruin Merton.

Vince and Tommy fight until Vince has Tommy pinned.

Merton: I don't believe in you. You don't exsist.

Lori: That's right. Your just a figment of Merton's overactive imagination. You're not really here at all.

Tommy: Then what's stopping me from getting up? (Tommy throws Vince into the door and gets up)

Vince: (starts to fade) NO! (fades away)

Merton: I'm kinda gonna miss him.

Lori/Tommy: What!

Tommy: You hate that guy!

Merotn: Yeah, but he was always there for me when I was a wee little Merton.
But now you guys are here for me, so good ridence.

Tommy: Alright!

(Tommy's monolouge- Well Vince was gone for good. although, for a while I didn't believe in him, and I simply didn't see him, but he was still there. We may not believe in him, but is he still here? [you see someone sitting in a park reading a book and it just flies out of their hand and they scream and run away, you hear Vince laugh.] One thing though, Merton picked up a styling tip from him.)

Next scene- school hallway- Merton shows Tommy and Lori his green hair.
Tommy and Lori roll their eyes and walk away.

Merton: What?